When you like a flower, you just pluck it.
But when you love a flower, you water it daily
- Buddha -
Love is not always a walk in the park. Either, we never find love, or when we find it, its hard to keep it longer. The reality of relationships is that the feeling of love will eventually fade away. At the end of the day, love is determined not by your feelings alone, but your commitment to the relationship. If you choose to love, you choose to work on it to make it last a lifetime. Here are 10 things to keep in mind:
1. Be the right person to find yourself the right person.
All our lives we've always been on the lookout for the "right person". Inside our heads, we already have a checklist on what our ideal partner should be like. But never did we position ourselves as the "right person" to any human being for that matter, and that's what we should strive to work on.
2. Set your boundaries right from the start.
Before committing in a relationship, ask yourself, 'what would be one thing I am not willing to overlook'? This will be your deal breaker. It is important to know this as early as possible to prevent an otherwise-failed or short-lived relationship. This results nothing but depression. You will roam all around having the thought that it is just a fake thing, not to rely upon kinda thing. It's wrong.
3. Maintain a healthy communication with your partner.
A healthy communication with your partner is not built on a culture of nitpicking, blaming and distrust. It is grounded on a loving and nurturing environment wherein you can freely express your feelings and thoughts no matter what. And that's a good thing to have a healthy communication. Communication gaps create nothing but bond-breaker kinda things which will only degrade the relationship.
4. Build your individual life, and shared dreams as a couple.
In a relationship, it is important for each one to reach for his/her individual aspirations and support each other with whatever life goal the other is pursuing. Your relationship will not grow if it is only focused on your life as a couple. And that's where most of us make a mistake in a relationship, we do not focus on our growing, which results in a short relationship.
5. Be proactive in any relationship.
Nothing will happen if you choose to be a passive spectator of life. Choose what you want and do not want in a relationship. Even in your circle of friends, you can always cut ties with the toxic ones. Remember that quality is always greater than quantity. It will never affect you in a negative way, rather you will feel free from the toxic relations in your life.
6. Never see yourself as a 'victim'.
Refrain from victimizing yourself everytime when you encounter a huge fight with your partner just to get the sympathy of other people, or to feel better about yourself. You are in control of what is happening from your side. You either act upon it or don't. Its as simple as that.
7. Live with a purpose.
In the bigger scheme of things, how do you see yourself living your life ? Know your purpose and live your life in accordance with you goals.
8. Do not hurt your partner.
It is inevitable that you will get hurt in a relationship because some things are way beyond your control. However hurting your partner on purpose emotionally or physically shall never be one of these reasons.
9. Love unconditionally.
You should learn to love not only just the best but also the worst in your partner. You should love your partner for everything that he/she is not - from his/her deep-seated principles down to his/her general interest and hobby.
10. Love and be loved.
In a healthy relationship, love is a cycle of caring and affection. When you shower your love to someone, you also deserve to be treated with the same love and respect.
Remember, a good relation is not 50-50, or 70-30. A good relation is a 100% you and 100% the other.
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